Ms. Agnus says, "I read 'Living In Greytown' every day!  I also like to suck a good wang now and then!"

CAST
  Greytown - The messed up town that has no escape.

The Devil Phil - The big bad owner of Greytown.  He tries to be evil sometimes, but he's really just lazy.  Born: ???

Lizard - The loveable short green lizard guy.  He's the kindest sweetest person in all of Greytown.  He also doesn't use profanity.  Born:  September 5th 1975

Ms. Reni - A silly poodle girl with very ambitious ideas. Sheís very smart, but she often doesnít use her intelligence to itís full potential. She works with computers for a living.  Born:  August 7th 1978

Tiki - Tiki is a little fox guy. Heís got big shiny eyes and lots of personality! He often makes wisecracks at Reni. He has lived in the same house as Reni for most of his life.  Born:  August 7th 1978

ZoŽ - A tall peach-colored lizard woman.  Used to be a model before coming to Greytown.  Lizard and ZoŽ are married.  Born:  December 12th 1977

Lizzy - Lizard and Zoe's first baby Born:  January 24th 2001

Razor - A true punk rocker lizard.  He loves the fast and heavy hard-core life, but is in love enough with Sandy to stay out of trouble.  Born:  February 6th 1982

Sandy - Razor's girlfriend.  She puts up with a lot of Razor's stupidity and laziness because she knows he's a good guy deep down.  She also has a punk fetish.  Born:  September 1st 1983

Joe Sparks - A very talented and often depressed lad.  He speaks in a low raspy voice.  He started the band "The Fucking Fuckers".  Joe is the kind of guy who can see beyond one's appearance.  Born:  September 6th 1979

Kari Rosin - A girl born with rabbit-like features.  She used to be very sexual, but has learned that there is more to love than sex.  Joe and Kari hope to be married one day.  Born:  February 14th 1979

The Rosins - Pat and Henry Rosin are Kari's parents.  They have lived with oppression, hate, and bigotry for most of their lives in Greytown because of their inter-species marriage.

Paul - Paul can be insensitive sometimes, but isn't a complete jerk.  He used to stay at the Orphanage until he ran away from it.  He crashes at other people's houses.  He had a sudden growth spurt over a few months.  Born:  August 20th 1984

Bea "Bitch" Lettleton - Calls herself  "Bitch" all the time.  She never lets anyone call her by her real name.  She's a lesbian who likes to get really kinky.  Born:  July 4th 1979

Dr. Almonds - Dr. Almonds is Bitch's lover and is the top doctor in Greytown.  Born:  February 25th 1975

Nancy - Nancy The Nude Puppeteer has taken her act all over the world, but has stopped at Greytown.  She now has an early morning educational TV show.  She loves children and animals and treats everyone with the same amount of respect.  Most people don't know it, but Nancy is extremely smart.  Born:  June 12th 1979

Fred Astagio - The richest man in Greytown.  He owns the TV station and runs most of the media.  He had a complete maker-over and a breast job once.  He's a man again.   Born:  November 30th 1970

Randal - Works with Fred at the station, but is constantly annoyed by Fred's antics.  Born:  October 3rd 1971

Susan - Ran away from a mysterious government job and disguised herself as a Chinese man.  Now that her old boss Mr. Right is dead she doesn't wear the disguise anymore.  Born:  May 7th 1970

Johnny Gregg - A young black man who is very educated and into classical music.    He tries to have a positive attitude about things.  Born:  May 2nd 1979

Melissa - One of the hottest girls in Greytown.  Born:  May 28th 1979

Greg and Dean - The two kids who are always watching TV.  Greg (with black hair) is not Dean's brother, but hangs out at Dean's house so much no one could tell, not even Dean's parents.  Greg Born:  January 31st 1989,  Dean Born:  March 30th 1989

Guy and Goil - Guy is a pig, and Goil is a bitch.  They have fights, Goil wins.  Guy and Goil.  Guy Born:  September 15th 1978,  Goil Born:  April 15th 1978

Buzz - The guy who owns the hotel Susan lives and Lizard used to live in.  He's crazed.

Hysteria - A devil woman sent to help Phil with Greytown.

Zealiuss - Another devil, but doesn't do much.  He's trying to take over Greytown himself.

Dr. Brustwarze - A mad, happy scientist.

TV STARS:
These are cast members with their own TV shows.

Sex Racoon:  Gets all the women!

Vixen Girls:  Three foxy ladies!

Salito:  A man with a prosthetic ass.

THE GRAVEYARD:
These are cast members who have passed away.

Patrick - A funny, silly, and mischievous little cat.  He was very brave to defend his owner Johnny Gregg, but was shot by a corrupt cop.  He'll never be forgotten.

Dr. Brustwarze - A silly mad scientist who was mad with power.

Carla Vincelli - A sweet, shy young girl who became Paul's first love. Paul made her feel different. Paul made her feel beautiful. She died in a tragic car wreck.

Ned Jetly - Once a mad man who carried around a huge sausage with him everywhere he went.  He helped Joe escape Greytown.  Later on Phil sent Ned into the "Nowhere" while Ned was holding his huge sausage.  That turned Ned into an invisible floating sausage that only Joe could see.  Ned mysteriously disappeared months later. 

Boy Anger - Often called "Angry Boy" because of a short temper.  He claims to have laid many women, but only got lucky with one girl who claimed she was a model.  He drinks a lot for a boy his age due to Greytown's shoddy ID checks.  Boy died peacefully in his sleep.   Born:  June 10th 1989

Ma and Tad (not pictured) Anger - Angry Boy's legal parents.  Tad died of testicular cancer.  Ma died of spontaneous combustion.

Eartha - Used to be Bitch's lover and a one-woman band of environmentalists.  She was killed when a tree landed on her.

Harry Styles - The racist, bigoted, evil man who bombed the church Joe and Kari were supposed to get married in.  He also killed Patrick after he jumped on Harry's head.  Harry was killed by the wall.

FAQs

How come it took so long to make the FAQs section?
I was dead.

So what's the deal with Greytown?
It's a town that has no escape.

But didn't Joe escape?
Do I go over to the Burger King and tell you how to do your job?

What's the deal with the Devil Phil?
The Devil Phil is a short tempered little butthole that runs Greytown.  He tries to make the whole Greytown experience annoying and painful.

How come you don't like America?
I do.  It's just fun to make fun of the very thing that protects you for making fun of it!

Are you insane?
I am legally insane.

I'm going to stand over here now.
PLORTZ!

 
 
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Living in Greytown copyright © 2000, Dave Kelly. All rights reserved.